This blog may depress you - if you're easily prone to tears or outbursts...you may not wanna read this.
You've been warned.
When I close my eyes...life makes me smile. I get warm kisses in the morning...and sweet loving thru the night. I come home to my home...our home..and we would enjoy life..our life. Dinner would be made...my son would have the family that I always dreamed for him...the one that he deserves. Weekends would be filled with family visits..grandma kisses and spoiling...shopping and football games with my loves.
And the morning comes...and I open my eyes.
My bed is empty. The only sound I hear is my son begining to stir in his crib. No warm kisses...no sweet loving the night before. The reality of my life...our life, begins to set in. I make dinner every night..and eat alone with the sounds of the news playing in the background. My phone rings every now & then - until my son begins to cry in the background and then excuses are made to hang up. He cries..and there is no one but me to soothe him. I realize that I haven't been without my son if not for more than 10 mins for a store run - in 4 months. Never asked " Do you need a break?" ... "Can I help you?".I live miles and miles away from anyone who might care - and those miles keep them from doing so. I am tired..and worn...and alone.
Then I look at my son...and I smile. It's all for you, DJ....it's all for you.
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Damn that's deep sis once again I have nothing to say :(
ReplyDeleteI have been where this blog has been and I have experienced those days and those nights what kept me strong is the same that will keep you strong and its the love a child can provide. See ur son will never judge how u look in the morning or how u sleep wild at night. He will never second guess the decisions you make or the opportunities you turn down. The greatest gift he will give you is stability, he will always and I mean always be the true man you need. Appreciate and value his love because when others turn their backs your son will smile at u letting u know HE is still there.
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